Sent away to find myself: A journey of cultural expectations and beginning personal healing

By: Sarah Atsu

LuWani Johnson, a Nigerian immigrant, speaks about her experience with her parent's behavioral adjustment techniques, and how she is now finding healing.

CUMMING, Ga.-- When parents not originally from the United States begin to have behavioral issues with their kids, some decide to send them back to be instilled with more traditional, cultural values.

Sent back

20-year-old LuWani Johnson moved from Nigeria to the United States with her father at the age of 12. It was her understanding that the new country would be her permanent home, besides trips to see the family she still had there. In 2020, at the age of 17, Johnson boarded a plane to visit her mother and sister still living in Nigeria. From there, her life changed.

“I was there for five weeks, then my dad asked if I wanted to stay longer,” Johnson said. “I was like: ‘yeah’ since I hadn’t seen my family in a really long time. I was in that break after graduating high school, before starting college, so I wasn’t really doing anything. I decided to stay two more months. I informed all my friends that I was coming back two months later.”

At the time, Johnson was struggling with her mental health. She turned to recreational drugs like marijuana, as well as her school friends to help her cope. While she was in Nigeria, her father found the drugs in her room and made the decision that would change Johnson’s life forever.

“While I was away, my dad went through my room and found weed, among some other things that he wasn’t supposed to find. When I began asking when I was coming home, he told me what he had found and said that I wasn’t doing well in America. I wasn’t doing the things I was supposed to be doing and he was not that invested in bringing me back, so I should stay in Nigeria.”

After almost a year and a half of living in Nigeria against her will, Johnson was brought back to the United States and began to rebuild her life.

Life after coming back

After moving back to America, Johnson struggled with living independently.

“As a young person without any work history or anything past a high school education, it was hard for me to find stability by myself when I came back,” Johnson said.

In addition to having difficulties finding her path in life, Johnson felt the experience also greatly hindered her ability to trust others.

“My trust in other people is just gone,” Johnson said. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust anyone completely again.”

Despite the mental and emotional turmoil the experience put her through, Johnson feels she is finding healing slowly.

“I’ve always been into art so coming back I have the opportunity to get back into what I love,” Johnson said. “I’m also slowly working on building up meaningful connections with other people.”

Being in America, Johnson feels she has the freedom to be who she truly is.

“You know, in more traditional cultures, like the one I come from, you’re supposed to be a certain way, act a certain way, and if you don’t do that you’re a failure or a disappointment,” Johnson said. “But, in America, I can be who I want to be and get the help I need with things such as my mental health.”

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